Tot Remarks

My tot says some pretty funny stuff these days and I just have to share because these comments made me laugh out loud. Gotta love this age.

1. Her and I are sitting on the bed and it’s about 4pm. Her: “Where is my Dad?” Me: “At work.” She jumps off the bed and as she leaves the room she shakes her head and says, ” He gotta pay them bills.”

2. While at the grocery store our cart is so full the only place I can put the carton of eggs is on the under rack of the cart. While in line to check out she wedges her self under the cart, sitting next to the eggs. Me: “Baby, don’t bother the eggs please.” Her: “Are they having a nap?” I always tell her not to bother her brother when he is asleep and it’s hilarious she made that connection with the eggs…in the most serious tone as well!

3. Her potty song: ” I pee pee in the potty and now I will get a gummy bear.” She gets gummy vitamins and we give them as rewards for going in potty if she brings it up. We hear this song a lot and the other night she told my husband she had to go potty. He said, “Ok, but no gummy bear.” She looked at him and said, “No gummy bear? I don’t have to listen.” Boom, shut him down!

4. She is in the bathroom and I am in the living room feeding her brother. I yell out, “Are you going potty?” Silent. I yell out again, “Are you going potty? Pee or poop?” She yells back, “It’s not an option! It is not an option!” Earlier in the day she was not listening to me and I told her that listening to your mom was not an option. It was going to happen. Ha, she fed that right back to me from the potty!

5. Another bathroom story. She is going potty and again I am nursing her brother in the living room. She has been in there a bit so I yell out, “You doing okay? Need help?” She replies, “Yea, Daddy’s flashlight in my potty.” Puzzled, I then ask, “How did a flashlight get in the potty?” Her, “It uh…uh..fell in.” Needing more clarification but not quite ready to go look yet I then ask, “Is there pee in there as well?” Her, “Yea..I get it.” Me, now totally willing to jump off the couch based on her willingness to fish this object out of the pee say, “No, no hold on. Do not touch anything in your potty!” On my way there I hear her say, “Touch it?” Because of course that’s all she would hear of my reply! Once I get there, now with a sad baby who didn’t get to finish feeding, I see a piece of the flashlight (the button) in the toilet and….poop. I mumbled something like, “oh man, really child?! I don’t want to do this.” I hear her say, “Daddy fix it?”  Hearing her say that made me realize that yes, this was a Daddy job. So we both literally washed our hands of the situation and left. I promptly sent a text to her Dad to let him know he had an issue to fix in the bathroom.

6. Have you heard the new Mark Ronson song featuring Bruno Mars, Uptown Funk? Well we listen to it quite a bit and have a good dance party. As we were walking through Target the other day she started singing her version, “Uptown, F*ck you up…uptown f*ck you up!” I have you know the actual lyrics are, “Uptown, funk you up. Uptown funk you up.” Although her version is quite amusing we need to work on another song I think…

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